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september, 2026.

Usually, i despise september. for me, this month has always been the most mundane, boring-ass month, almost depressing. no interesting holidays, hot weather with barely any rain, just days filled with ordinary, ordinary things. but this september, i have a great feeling about it. because the moment the date turned september 1, i somehow felt myself again. even better than before. and when i remember who i am, i remember my mighty God. i remember my amazing family. i remember my absolutely incredible friends. i remember every little thing that i have and everything i’ve experienced. and suddenly, i find this abundant mindset again. i know september isn’t going to be filled with nothing but joy. there will probably be difficult days, unexpected things, and moments that i won’t understand. but i can confidently say that, whatever comes, i will be grateful. because i know what i have. i know who i am. i know who holds me. and knowing that, i’m at full peace. this might be the first time i’...
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Recent posts

Biggest Fear

I already wrote all of these, writings that you about to read (spoiler alert: it's all over the place) , on my twitter. But this one is for a back up. Why? You'll know why. So my WhatsApp chats are completely gone. All the medias and links even the stickers... Yep I probably deserved it for being an *ss person lately. Probably the dumbest thing I have ever done among all the idiotic behaviours that I did in my life. But what breaks me most is that I can’t save personal chats from my dad 😔 and that made me realise, one of the most terrifying thing in my life is when I completely lost all the memories of him someday. So twitter and blogger, please help me save some of the memories of those personal chats that still left in my brain... --- I really regret I deleted a screenshot about this particular chat but I remember that my dad asked me about something but I didn’t answer him all night, 'til the next day he asked me again “ Lagi ngapain? Kok ga bales-bales? ” And I answe...
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Anything I want to say today.

As I'm writing this, I keep looking at one of my chrome tab that says " macbook audio crackling " and feel sad because I can't find the solution why my macbook audio is still f*cked up even with an earphone. My output speaker is damaged from months ago but I just found out that it can spread worse just like cancer . I can't feel sorry enough for myself that I even have to use keyboard viewer feature on my macbook only to type the word "w" because my keyboard is f*cked up too. Well, at least right now I still can listen to a beautiful song that I just found 2 days ago through my 6 years phone smoothly. " Willow " by Tindersticks and Robert Pattinson on the vocal, go ahead and listen to it now you're not gonna regret it. It was a soundtrack from a film "High Life", a slow paced kind of bizarre-but-unique indie film that has some pretty disturbing visuals . Why I watched that movie? Mainly because of my current obsession with Rob. I ...
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Dewasa Muda: You're Really on Your Own.

Kira-kira 3 bulan kurang 10 hari lagi aku berumur 22 tahun. Artinya aku sedang memasuki fase dewasa muda. Saat ini aku sedang magang di Jakarta dan tinggal di ibukota untuk pertama kalinya.  Baru 1 bulan hidup di sini, aku merasa banyak hal yang menghantamku dan seolah meneriakiku:  " welcome to the real world!!! " .  Banyak hal yang tidak kurasakan selama 4 tahun berkuliah di Tangerang. Banyak hal yang baik, banyak juga yang mengecewakan.  Salah satu hal yang sekaligus baik dan mengecewakan yaitu:   You're really on your own. Saat menjadi dewasa muda, orientasi; prinsip; serta prioritas aku dan teman-temanku sudah berbeda dan seringkali tidak bisa diganggu gugat. Hidup kami bukan lagi tergantung pada jadwal kuliah dan perintah orang tua. Rutinitas tergantung pada pilihan hidup masing-masing. Mau bersakit-sakit dahulu atau mau bersenang-senang dahulu itu sepenuhnya pilihan.  --- Menjadi dewasa muda,  aku mulai melih...
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2020: I'm tired being pretentious.

Alright... Today I visit my own blog and I can't stand the princess-y design that I really liked when I was a teenager. Sometimes I just left my works just as cringey as it is but sometimes I just need to erase it as soon as I seen it, and thinking.... I had such a horrible taste. Not to mention I have great taste now, but it definitely better. I definitely have seen a lot of references kay... Anyway I only write in english when I'm not too serious, and in a sarcasm mood. So it's 2020. I'm neither excited nor sad about this year. I don't have any feelings towards it. I remember 2 years ago, 2018, best year, my life began with a perfect start. I got big appreciation about my work and I  was beyond proud of it. I had such a positive mindset about life and began to list what I have to achieve next. Then I got many new friends once I stepped out my basic circle. I made films and again, I was beyond proud of it. I thought I learned so much that year, and everyt...
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My Portfolio

https://visirarasanti.portfoliobox.net/ Halo teman-teman! Sudah satu setengah tahun aku berkuliah, masuk semester ke-empat. Oh my God, I feel like there's a million things I want to share to you! Tapi ceritanya di lain kesempatan saja ya, sekarang aku ingin membagikan sebuah website yang isinya beberapa karyaku setahun terakhir ini. https://visirarasanti.portfoliobox.net/ Silakan klik dan selamat melihat-lihat, hehe!
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I'M-POSSIBLE

Bila kalian bertanya siapa inspirasi terbesarku, sudah pasti itu papaku. Papa Imam Ujianto-lah yang membuat perubahan besar di hidupku dalam segala aspek. Bila papaku tidak berani mengambil resiko dan tidak punya tekad untuk perubahan saat itu, maka bersekolah di SMA Sedes Sapientiae hanya akan menjadi angan-angan belaka saat ini.              Sangat banyak orang yang meragukan perjuangan papaku. Tentu sangat banyak. Banyak orang tidak percaya, banyak orang mencemooh, banyak orang memfitnah. Karena apa? Karena orang hanya melihat hasil jadinya saja. Bukan prosesnya. Bila kalian membandingkan masa lalu dan sekarang ini, bisa jadi kalian menjadi salah satu orang-orang tadi. Aku sendiri tak pernah sekalipun berpikiran seperti itu. Semua naik-turun yang dialaminya aku pernah ikut bersamanya. Aku tahu persis perjuangannya, dia sangat sering bercerita padaku, hingga saat ini. Aku pernah berkata padanya: bila sempat, aku berenc...
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