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Anything I want to say today.

As I'm writing this, I keep looking at one of my chrome tab that says "macbook audio crackling" and feel sad because I can't find the solution why my macbook audio is still f*cked up even with an earphone. My output speaker is damaged from months ago but I just found out that it can spread worse just like cancer. I can't feel sorry enough for myself that I even have to use keyboard viewer feature on my macbook only to type the word "w" because my keyboard is f*cked up too.

Well, at least right now I still can listen to a beautiful song that I just found 2 days ago through my 6 years phone smoothly. "Willow" by Tindersticks and Robert Pattinson on the vocal, go ahead and listen to it now you're not gonna regret it. It was a soundtrack from a film "High Life", a slow paced kind of bizarre-but-unique indie film that has some pretty disturbing visuals. Why I watched that movie? Mainly because of my current obsession with Rob. I didn't know he's such an incredible actor, by incredible I mean he is truly one of the greats. Thanks to The Batman (2022) I began to feel curious about his terrific skills and talents. This movie is one of the best thing that happened in this year.

I also watched The Devil All the Time (2020), The King (2019), Good Time (2017), The Rover (2014), and High Life (2018) in less a week. I was about to re-watch The Lighthouse (2019) today but the "macbook audio crackling" happened not long after the movie started. Or probably my non-stop streaming this entire week is the reason why my macbook's audio blows up.. But it's worth it tho. Those 5 movies that I mention earlier is such underrated movies and I'm grateful I found them. If I have to choose one, it probably The Rover..or Good Time, I can't choose apparently. In The Rover, Rob's character was mad cute and not an *sshole for once. The movie itself was so raw and felt super real, a simple story but the execution was impressive. Good Time basically has simple story too but succeed to deliver a super intense effect, to me it's a masterpiece. Thank you Jesus for all of the great movies in this earth and my ability to enjoy them. It just...keep me alive.

About Rob... Gosh I have a major crush on him. I know this sounds terrible, cringe, annoying, and probably disgusting lol (my sister had enough 'cause I can't stop talking about him) but he is more than just a pretty face. Aside from his talents, he is such a down to earth human. He really thinks his talent isn't acting, but his truly talent is finding the right people that help him grow (that melts me). He makes acting looks like a 9-5 job. He's such a weirdo too, funny as heck. He doesn't mind to look stupid in front of the world. You don't know how much those things about him inspire me. He's far from perfect and look like a regular human, I like that about him. Makes you forget that he's an A-list hollywood star. Sometimes I don't enjoy the present 'cause I think too much about my personal branding, was throwing away my weird side these past years. But Rob indirectly reminds me that it's okay to look like a total freak and vulnerable sometimes. The other day I also watch Turning Red (2022) and this line kinda hits hard because it's like another same reminder.

"People have all kinds of sides to them. And some sides are messy. The point isn't to push the bad stuff away. It's to make room for it, live with it."

—Jin (Turning Red)

Anyway suddenly I remember I'll be 24 in 2 months.. I'm kind of nervous but not really. I have learned that we as adults don't have to figure it out all at once. It's fine if you're still on your way finding yourself right now, if you're clueless so be it. Don't act like you know everything, because you definitely don't. Even I saw a lot of confused adults who admitted they still learning from the younger generations. As long as you know God is beside you, you'll be fine. You just remember to chill.

You're probably wondering why I wrote whatever-this-is (or not)... It's because I can't do anything beside waiting my back up data process is done, 'cause my laptop is going to be hospitalised tomorrow. I need to rescue this poor little thing soon before it's too late. Takes 5 hours so I decided to pour my random thoughts here.

I really hope I didn't overshare today...bye.

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