Biggest Fear

I already wrote all of these, writings that you about to read (spoiler alert: it's all over the place),
on my twitter. But this one is for a back up. Why? You'll know why.

So my WhatsApp chats are completely gone. All the medias and links even the stickers... Yep I probably deserved it for being an *ss person lately. Probably the dumbest thing I have ever done among all the idiotic behaviours that I did in my life. But what breaks me most is that I can’t save personal chats from my dad 😔 and that made me realise, one of the most terrifying thing in my life is when
I completely lost all the memories of him someday.

So twitter and blogger, please help me save some of the memories of those personal chats that still left in my brain...

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I really regret I deleted a screenshot about this particular chat but I remember that my dad asked me about something but I didn’t answer him all night, 'til the next day he asked me again “Lagi ngapain? Kok ga bales-bales?” And I answered “Sorry aku tepar banget kemaren ikut ibadah Saksi Yehuwa”.

And then he asked me if my fingers are okay 'cause we had this inside jokes about cults like them usually shake our hands using a spiky ring that can cut our fingers, and if our blood comes out we automatically join their cults 😂 but I told him thank God they’re all nice people. (Sorry if my words offend any Jehovah Witnesses here lol, but I did mention you're all nice people so..there's that.)

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And I also remember that I messaged him “Anies tu *insert bad word here* ya” out of nowhere, and then he answered something like “Haha itu kan idolamu to.” 😂

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And the most mind-blowing thing that I will never forget is when he calculated some of my close friends’ birthday (he learned numerology and stuffs like "the power of numbers"). And he asked me “Siapa yang lahir 23 Feb 98? Dia yang paling mirip sama kamu” and I told him it’s Jessica. I didn’t quite understand by that until I got closer with Jess and years passed by, we often feel like almost identical at most times, it’s just such a mind-blowing experience for me. Our principal, our taste, our lifestyle, our fate, our experiences, our current feelings, our cravings, are almost the same. Of course it’s not always exactly same but I promise you I don’t have other friend that have this much similarity other than Jess.. 😂

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I also remember the time that I messaged "sorry" bunch of times to him and promised him to make videos for him 'cause I couldn’t participate in a 6 SKS class that day, I was sick because I haven’t slept. I always felt bad if I had to skip a class, like I basically wasted bunch my dad’s money, for nothing at all. And he answered something like “Ya gak apa-apa, yang penting harus bisa jaga pola tidur dan makan yang bener ke depannya. Karena semua penyakit itu sumbernya dari makanan juga”. And I clearly remember I cried, I felt like the worst person every time I let down my parents.

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Those are some the things that still stuck in my head, I rewrite all of these both on my twitter and blog so I have other back up about these memories 😣 I hope I also will remember the rest...

If these are too personal and I overshared today...I don’t really care to be honest.
Good night.